even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
