Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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