This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
