So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
