it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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