Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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