I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
