Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
