I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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