in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Quick, to the slutcave!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
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