If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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