the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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