i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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