i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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