Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
