I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
