My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
