i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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