Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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