"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
