Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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