i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
