I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She bit a glass in half.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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