why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
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