She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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