Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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