It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
