Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
