I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
