She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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