So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
