I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
