Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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