i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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