I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize