just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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