tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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