I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
