Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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