bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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