nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
