I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
