ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize