i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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