have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
