their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.