I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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