Texts From Last Night

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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey

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  (479): if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey http://tfl.nu/i09e
  Replies (16) Good night (1119) Bad night (2379)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick

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  (804): quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick http://tfl.nu/5pdl
  Replies (7) Good night (4137) Bad night (608)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later

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  (412): we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later http://tfl.nu/u7bo
  Replies (24) Good night (6274) Bad night (916)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack

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  (203): you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack http://tfl.nu/hvnz
  Replies (6) Good night (3220) Bad night (1072)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink

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  (630): Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink http://tfl.nu/oigr
  Replies (19) Good night (4053) Bad night (1127)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.

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  (815): Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience. http://tfl.nu/8crb
  Replies (8) Good night (2081) Bad night (646)
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  (760): View more from California

  He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.

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  (760): He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes. http://tfl.nu/l52c
  Replies (4) Good night (1489) Bad night (543)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.

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  (+44): Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection. http://tfl.nu/1vl5
  Replies (9) Good night (898) Bad night (352)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?

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  (647): didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail? http://tfl.nu/zlp7
  Replies (11) Good night (487) Bad night (1020)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.

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  (443): There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity. http://tfl.nu/z2pz
  Replies (12) Good night (400) Bad night (1644)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke

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  (206): You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke http://tfl.nu/er3q
  Replies (3) Good night (561) Bad night (357)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.

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  (484): wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that. http://tfl.nu/dlkz
  Replies (1) Good night (557) Bad night (423)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Good decision.

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  (817): I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things (832): Good decision. http://tfl.nu/tpjd
  Replies (0) Good night (522) Bad night (327)
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  (+66): View more from Thailand

  Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special

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  (+66): Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special http://tfl.nu/nl3i
  Replies (0) Good night (734) Bad night (307)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??

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  (615): SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA?? http://tfl.nu/8648
  Replies (3) Good night (438) Bad night (261)

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