Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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