i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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