I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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