when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize