just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
