So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
