1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
