there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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