who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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