i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
