You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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